Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
