They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
