Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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