this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
