Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
