I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Randomize
