If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This baby is an asshole
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
