? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She said her name was "party"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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