Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
