Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
