4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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