like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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