I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
