Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
