then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
