I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
