These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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