Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
