Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
