so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
