she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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