I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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