Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
did you just send me my own nude
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
