That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
