Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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