I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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