You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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