you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
