It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
