new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
