I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
