just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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