We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
