I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
