So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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