sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
