Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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