Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
