Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
