when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
