It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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