he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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