Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
