a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Someone signed my nipple.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
