Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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