nut hugger
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
