You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
