I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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