when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
