dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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