i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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