Welp...herpes.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
